Gelisahku Resah

1. Kegelisahan terhadap barang2 sampel dan chemicals. Sejak kebelakangan ni selalu sgt ada masalah power cut la, budak2 ter-unplugged wayar la. Takutnye barang2 tu spoil. Antibody, precision marker dan brg2 lain bukannya murah, dah la susah nak dpt, kalo order kena tunggu berminggu-minggu.

2. K. Azi lab technician meat science lab pulak dpt keje lain. hmm, kurang lah geng, lgpun K. Azi byk bantu kitorang selama ni.

3. Co-partner aku si Ain ni pulak mcm x nak habiskan projek ni.. dia dah la student JPA, nnt mesti nak kena keje ngan gomen. selama ni dia yg otak geliga dan sgt rajin, aku ni mcm pembantu je. kalo dia jugak cabut, x tau la apa nak jd ngan aku.

4. kat sini, environment dia x best sgt in-term of culture la. although, aku x la experience secara direct ngan kejadia2 begitu, tp bila dah semua org pun kata mcm tu, mungkin ada kebenarannya.

5. Bila baca balik proposal projek ni, aduhai aku rasa cm x mungkin leh siap je dalam tempoh masa dua tahun. mcm panjang je so aku ada gak terpikir sampai bila nak hidup ngan gaji belajar yg ciput ni. bila la nak bantu mak abah sara adik belajar. huhu

hmm.. apa nak buat, dah nasib badan. Ya Allah tabahkan aku, berikan kebijaksaan dan senangkan lah urusan ku semasa aku berbakti pada agama, bangsa dan negara

Everybody's Down

woa.. looking at them, their faces, i wonder what is going on in their minds, there must be something that make their lives miserable,a lot of things clump and tied in their mind, as shown in their faces.

and, they are someone I knew just recently, having the same of what-so-called-my-future-life. though, i have not yet experienced any of 'bla' as told in their stories, i do feel being chased by the worriness . the uncertainties are now becoming reality. The 'unknown' will be known.

ONE down, TWO down, THREE down, and FOUR is going-to.. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR(bukan nama sebenar)not related by blood but by their story lines. blames are on the KING and KINGDOM.

every single thing is perceived negatively, pushes the knights to the end of the road. backstabbing and greedy is the culture.

I can see myself in that picture; FUTURE. Dark bumpy road, tires that are flat, the only weapons i been saving are wisdom and determination. is this enough to support me during my tenancy???

ONE down, TWO down, THREE down, FOUR is going-to..
STEADY like a ROCK, I will not give up.

a bug in a rug

I am as snug as a bug
in a rug in this nice sweater
looking outside the window

you are as far as a star
I am looking at
shine and bright.

i cud sense u at every inch of my skin
in the lonely cold night wind

I am as snug as a bug in a rug
no one with me here
all alone by myself

but;
u are with other stars
and a moon u admire
up high the sky
shine and bright as always.

Kau Pernah

Kau pernah
mengatakan kau cintai aku;
Kau pernah
menggembirakan hatiku
Kau pernah
melukis senyuman termanis di muka ku

Dan
Kau pernah
menghambat ku jauh dari mu
Kau pernah
buat aku x paham erti cinta mu
Kau pernah
membuat ku keliru
Kau pernah
menyeksa jiwaku

Akhirnya
Aku berharap
kau paham kepedihan ku
aku berharap
aku x pernah mencintai mu
aku berharap
aku x akan sebegini membenci kamu

Kepenatan, Kemengantukan, Kekecewaan (part 2 and 3)

Then, I was led to the next room. A man who i dun get his name.. even so, i dun want to remember his name after the end of the day.

The standard interview will be I hand the form, then resume and copies of related certificates.. and start with "tell me about urself".
however, when i entered the room and handed him the form. he didnt asked for the resume.. so I just put it on the table, he took it but put it aside not even has a glimpse.
it wasnt like the standard interview

question 1
what u doing rite now? are u working?
thought in mind, "wow, this ps gud, skip the introduction as it's all available in the form and CV".

I responded by telling i just graduated and seeking for first job..

question 2
what are u majored in?
simple answer-- "biotechnology"

Question 3
what is biotechnology? what do u study?

we manipulate genes ... bla bla...bla bla

at this point, it was still ok

he then resumed with a point saying that the company needed sumone in food field.. fair enough but still i try to sell my profile by telling, I m equipped with food and industrial microbiology knowledge and other than that, science still science, research still research even i wasnt majored food industry.

then i comes to evil part....
i think he is rude non-ethical person by using harsh words such as 'b&*&s%^t' and 'to hell'

also, he told me that most workers are non-bumi and malay only worked in canteen and cleaners (low hierarchy)

next, he pointed about respecting people, he said that if i m hired, i will be the only malay, so how m i gonna socialize with them
--in day life, I hardly group people according to their race and belief. only when it comes to spiritual practices, drinks, food and other thing prohibited by Allah, then only I draw lines and borders and start distinguishes people from that aspect.. even so, that is not for them but for me to limit myself from participating in sumthing i shuldnt do.
other than that, i see people as people and we r the same.. i dun know why he brought up this matter if he is not such.

he also claimed that when non-malay offers a food,to show respect, i shud accept it no matter what.. i could feel the tense in the air and on my face.
he gave me no chance to answer back. whenever i opened my mouth he increasea his tones.
in disbelief of what happening, yet not to worsen what's worst (jgn lawan api dengan minyak) so in just right tone and volume i said "or i can refuse politely"
he nodded, proud that i threw a good simple point, I grinned

however, in my opinion, the halal haram has become a chaos few years back in the country, and my non-Muslim frens know very well that Muslim dun eat pork and drink alcohol.. the way of slaughting however, is a mystery to them..
therefore, they also can show respect by not offering anything suspicious to Muslim in the first place..
thank God, I have non-Muslim frens who are understanding and didnt make a big woes out of this issue.

The interview continued with some other controvercial talks and few are related to the job.

I realized that the race sensitivity is spreading throughout the country.
This post is not meant hurt anybody.. it is just my experience with those people.
Hope that Malaysians can use every potential and leave behind the differences.
And for Malays, don't always ask for advantages, but create the opportunities for ourselves..

Kepenatan, Kemengantukan, Kekecewaan (part 1)

it took me a while to write on this.
Few days ago, I went for an interview in Kota Kemuning S.alam
I cud feel the bad air in the space that morning. The journey was so tiring and felt like i m hiking a camel in hot desert.. dunno why but maybe it was the sign of the cruelity I have to face that day.
The place was so alien to me.. like it is not in S.alam or near Kl known to be the center of development.
the only skycrapper was a flat which looks old and unmanaged.. the painting so dull and old.

move on..

I walked into the office after checked in with the guard who was not a very much helper.
A girl who noticed me from far lifted her head up and nodded twice as if she was asking "yes, how can i help u?" without having her to speak it out..
because if she did, she has to speak loud as i was quite far from her and that will lead all eyes in the room fall on me..so, i walked fast towards her, making as little noise as i can for not to distract all the people off their works.
"I came for an interview for the Technical Executive post" i told her..
i think she is nice and the smiles on her face really made me comfortable. I followed her to a small meeting room that can fit 5 people at a time. there were a guy using the computer in the room. not to be judged as busybody, I just mind my step and sat quietly there. I focussed my eyes on the floor to be as naive as possible. Until here, I was still in a good mood and in my head i was practicing answers for possible interview questions while filling the application form she gave.